Monday, January 19, 2009

Has It Come To This?

Had it really come to this? Was the Lord actually going to allow this to happen?
Maybe He wasn't paying attention.

I waited a few minutes.

A phone call? A knock on the door? Anything to interrupt this fateful moment.....Nothing.

I let out a sigh of defeat. Fine! If this is how it's gonna be, fine. My finger hovered over the mouse button. I glared at the "submit" button with all the hatred I could muster. I finally clicked.

Thank You For Joining Christian Singles.Com!

I cringed. What are they so excited about? Do they realize this is not a proud moment in my life? I would consider myself under duress. My love life had been pitifully reduced to this.

I stared at the screen, letting the reality of the situation sink in. Isn't it a little against my faith to join a dating website? Should Christians even offer such a thing? I mean isn't it like taking our lives into our own hands? I feel like I'm saying: "Well, Lord, you're taking way too long. Besides I don't really think you know what I'm looking for. But thanks for trying anyway!" I suppose He can work through the internet just as well.

If it counted for anything, my heart wasn't really in it. I thought about how I'd always wanted a fun, cute, romantic "How We Met" story. Something about bumping into him at the grocery store, or meeting in line at the bank. Or sitting next to each other on a plane (I don't travel, but it could happen!). I thought about how my story would go, should this website attempt turn out successful.: "I uploaded my pic, he uploaded his, we nudged each other, next thing you know,we directly connected. It was love at first click!"

Blech. Yeah, that's really romantic, for a couple of robots. I thought my story would be much more romantic and have a lot more intrigue and life to it.

I looked at the mirror. I'm not bad-looking, I have good hygiene, I make a decent living. How did I end up on At 25 years old, in the Christian community, I am considered an Old Maid! A spinster whose chance at marriage is slipping away with every breath I take.

I couldn't bear to look at the welcome screen any longer, so I decided to check my Facebook. Bad idea. Another person has added wedding photos. Maybe going to a Christian college wasn't such a good idea. Now, more than half of the people in my graduating class were either married, engaged or in a serious relationship headed in that direction. This couldn't possibly be normal. My non-Christian friends weren't even thinking about getting marriage. They were busy being young and starting careers. I would love to jump on that bandwagon, the only problem is, even as I sit here, all the eligible, Christian men my age, were being grabbed up like field mice. I wouldn't mind waiting until I am 30 so much if Ithought there would be anyone left.

I know what you're thinking "this is not the talk of a faithful woman of God." If you're thinking that, you're probably already married...


  1. I wish I could tell you to not worry about it, it'll come, etc., etc., etc. All that cliche stuff. But, I'm one of your non-Christian friends so I kinda fall under column B ^..^

    What I don't understand is why is taking an active role in finding the person of your dreams going against God? Being unfaithful to God?

  2. Oh girl, I am SO THERE with you. Or at least for the majority of my 28 years I have been. Tried a few internet dating sites, but it didn't feel "right" to me (just for me though--not that it's not a great and wonderful thing for most).

    I found A when I wasn't looking for anyone. Resigned to be single and adopt. Seriously.

    I don't think it's an unfaithful thing to do though, by the way. Maybe it was a prompting...maybe the ONE is hanging out on that site wondering the same things you are.

    That was a lot to say for my first visit to your blog...sorry about that!

  3. Don't you just love it when people tell you...especially those who are married.... "All you need is Jesus, he will satisfy your every need... or.. once you get your relationship right with Christ, then you'll find someone....or...Paul was single and he praised God for that..."

    Those lines piss me off.

    My theory is going to sound so hypocritical, but God isn't telling us to sit in a castle and wait on prince charming....he's given us ability to communicate, build relationships and he has given us personalities! We might as well use them before they go to waste!

    You're beautiful because you have God in your heart, and those who don't see it are the ones missing out.

  4. Thanks for stopping by! Hopefully my blog makes you feel a little better because I am almost 32, never married, and no kids! (32 in October). I do hope that an engagement is coming soon (been with him for over 2 years) but isn't it SO discouraging!! More so with women I think because our eggs are constantly aging with us! Good Luck!

  5. I know several people who met on line, and are now married. Don't give up!

    just stoppping by to say hi from SITS; hope you'll do the same.

  6. The right person WILL come along! Will it be from the dating site? Who knows. Keep your chin up. You are an attractive person that showers - that is a step in the right direction LOL!! I'll be praying for you! Stopping by from SITS!